


JazzBent

by Spiders Speakeasy (BirdArrow)



Series: JazzBent [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: '20's-stuck, Gen, Jazz Age, Prohibition, non-sburb AU, speakeasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:41:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdArrow/pseuds/Spiders%20Speakeasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a world ruled (mostly) by trolls, where humans' access to technology has been sharply curtailed and trolls who are likely to be culled arrive on Earth for a fresh start. Among the streets of New York, rivalries form and tensions run high between humans and trolls. Gangs fight for territory, alcohol is illegal liquid gold, and scientists struggle to break the stalemate of species and give either the upper hand, and a corrupt PD can barely keep up. What's a pair of immigrants to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 'Welcome' to the Big Apple

Karkat looked out the ship’s window as the world that was to be their new home came into view below them. The ship descended fast through the atmosphere, skimming over steely grey ocean and coming up quickly port island. He’d read that once, a tall green statue of a human had stood in the harbor to welcome visitors. Now, a shining bronze version of her Imperial Condescence stood over the harbor, grinning threateningly, culling fork in one hand. A reminder. Earth may have been perhaps the most autonomous of planets under Alternian rule, but it was still her plaything. He gave an involuntary shudder and gripped the edge of his shirt, grateful Sollux had come with him, and sat beside him in the crowded lowblood cabin. In all honesty, it was probably the most unpleasant place he’d ever been, packed to the brim with trolls of every size and hygiene level, until there was almost no room to sit. Those the empire considered trash, flocking to get away to relative safety. He leaned over sollux’s lap, straining for a better view of the city, knowing he wouldn’t get a chance to see it from the air again. It was, in a word, massive. Glittering buildings as tall as Sollux’s hive pierced the sky like the prongs of a culling fork, and cars swarmed the streets. People, both human and troll, walked about in colors he was sure had nothing to do with their blood. Factory smoke rendered the sky a fuzzy grey-green above them as they continued to descend. Even the CO2 burning engines the trolls had introduced hadn’t been enough to cleanse Eath’s polluted atmosphere, though the place was now certainly more liveable than when they’d discovered it fifty years ago. Sollux abruptly interrupted his sight-seeing, pushing Karkat out of his lap.  
  
“Keep your panths on, Vanthas. We’ll get there thoon enough.” He glared at the yellowblood. He hadn’t been able to claim the window seat before the pushy bastard, and he hadn’t even looked outside! He was pretty sure he’d done it as a not-so-subtle ‘fuck you’. Polite had never been a word that described Sollux. There was a lurch as the ship docked, and the trolls around them began to gather belongings that hadn’t fit in the limited sylladexes they were allowed.  
  
“I can’t help it,” Karkat answered, righting himself and grabbing his own belongings. “It’s just like something out of a movie or a book. How the fuck can even a shitspongue like you not find this sprawling mass of hives and writhing culture interesting?” Of course, he knew the answer to that already. Sollux didn’t want to be here, not at all. A talented technophile, a place like this held nothing for him. Earth was also probably the most primitive of planets in the empire, its technology regulated and limited within an inch of its life. It would probably drive Sollux mad. But his alternative was powering the Condescence’s ship, his very brain wired into it, so here he was. Sollux stood up after him, more slowly and with a sigh. Customs awaited outside the thick airlock door, which was sliding open, and outside of it, this great, strange, fascinating city. Before they were set out on their own, the limited possessions they’d been allowed to bring would be examined, and they’d be giving a starting amount of Earth currency, based entirely on blood color. In the rest of the empire, you simply acquisitioned things, what you could get based on your blood color and job. On Alternia, their lususes had simply provided most things. Here, everything was supposed to be so much more subjective. Blood color didn’t matter as much. Your skills did. The idea was enticing, and a little terrifying. Beyond customs, humans and trolls circled like sharks, intercepting new arrivals with propositions of jobs, work, lodging, even food. All a bad idea to accept, he’d been assured.  
  
Sollux strode past him, snarling a reply and pushing people aside pscionically, looking both confident and supremely annoyed at the same time.  
  
“Becauthe,” Sollux snarled, “I’m going to get to LIVE in thith thit. I’m thure I’ll get to thee every filthy fucking inch.” Karkat rolled his eyes, but followed, taking advantage of the path he’d cleared and keeping his head down, trying to remain inconspicuous. The line to leave was long, and slow. No one wanted to be told how many sylladex cards they could have or what sort of computer they were allowed, after all, and the checks were extensive, and based entirely on blood color. Rust through yellow, one weapon, one computer, and ten sylladex cards, as well as whatever they could carry. This, needless to say, was going to present Sollux with a problem. Karkat sighed and stared as he unpacked a massive computer, probably capable of taking care of all the computations of a small planet without an issue, and probably packed with programs these underpaid workers wouldn’t be able to begin to wrap their heads around. Karkat fidgeted, only half-watching, waiting for the next official to open up, and scuttling forward when he did, wiping his hands on the inside of his pockets. Sollux had told him he’d ‘taken care of’ the issue of his blood color, but frankly, it didn’t reassure him. He swallowed as his file was brought up, trying to remain calm. The officer sighed as the computer chirped, and called out,  
  
“Hey, Lar, we got a glitch again. Stupid fucking thing isn’t showing the guy’s blood color.”  
  
“Again?”  
  
“Yeah. Piece of shit.”  
  
“I’ll be there in a second.” A second troll, slightly higher-blooded, came up and began typing away for several minutes, before giving up in frustration. “Alright, Karkat Vantas, what’s your blood color? It’s not showing, and we WILL cut you if we think you’re lying.” He let out a breath of relief. Good. They weren’t going to skip right to drawing blood, in the middle of the crowd.  
  
“I’m at the very bottom. Red-brown.” He answered, hoping it didn’t raise any alarms. Luckily, it didn’t seem to. As they printed and processed, he glanced back to where Sollux was busy arguing with another official about his computer. Knowing him, it was a miracle it hadn’t turned into a fight yet, and he’d be at it for a while. His attention snapped back to his own business as the official passed him his papers, a check that didn’t amount to enough for a week’s lodgings, a certificate of arrival, and card for some strange American program called ‘Social Security’. The worker held up a camera and said, utterly bored,  
  
“Smile for your ID.” Karkat, like every other troll ever, simply glowered as it flashed in his face. “Good luck, kid. You’re going to need it.” The official said, a bit smugly, as he sent Karkat on his way. He glanced around for Sollux, and sighed when he saw him still embroiled in some sort of debate over his computer. He lounged against a wall, bored, watching the hustle and bustle of life outside the customs gate, and the babble and hawking cries of solicitors looking for cheap labor and people too stupid to find decent accommodations on their own. Everyone else from their flight, even the handful of bluebloods from first class, had cleared customs by the time Sollux was finished. The yellowblood was in what could only be described an absolute snit, eyes still crackling with rage. He stormed past Karkat, making the other troll jog to catch up.  
“Letths get the FUCK out of thith thit hole,” He snarled to Karkat, too upset to control his lisp.  
  
“Gladly. Do you know how many of these nook-sniffers kept waiting for me to step out so they could jump down my protein chute with their bullshit, trying to pull the woolbeast skin over my eyes? Fuck.” He sighed, then looked at Sollux. “So how much did they give you? I don’t even have enough for a week.”  
  
“Not a lot, but more than that, and they athiigned me thome thithole apartment. I don’t really care, ath long ath it’th thomewhere thafe and dry to thtick my computer.”  
  
“Lucky. Apparently, being anything lower than yellow means they hope you get mugged on your way out. Please tell me that offer to be hivemates still stands. I really don’t feel like sleeping on the street.” Sollux shrugged, opening up a map they’d given him, glancing at a signpost, and starting off.  
  
“Cleaning’th thtill your job. Jutht like we agreed. And you don’t touch my computer.”  
  
“Why the fuck would I want to touch your computer?! My crabtop’s good enough. It’s not like I have anything to do but chat and watch movies on it.” Karkat answered, folding his arms in irritation, following behind and wondering if he’d be expected to cook, too. Not that he would care. He wouldn’t be able to support himself until he had a job, and it would be even longer until he could move out. “So how far is it?”  
  
“Not far,” Sollux said, “We’re in the bad part of town, I think.”  
  
True to word, the apartment was a two-room-and-a-bath shithole, complete with fading, mildewed wallpaper and peeling linoleum. Sollux sighed, glancing at the two soiled mattresses in what was presumably the bedroom. No recoopracoons here. Only sedatives. “Well. Better than being integrated with a mothership. I guess.”  
“Or culled,” Karkat agreed, selecting one of the mattresses at random and throwing his stuff down on it. “Thanks again, Sollux. I was freaking the fuck out when the system glitched. I thought your hacking hadn’t worked.” He flopped down next to his belongings, staring up idly at the water and smoke stained ceiling, trying to guess what was mold and what was bits of food and chewed tobacco. “Damn. what the fuck are we getting ourselves into?” He shook his head, and answered his own question. “Well. At least this place isn’t shithive maggots insane.”  
  
“Thpeak for yourthelf. I don’t know what the fuck I”m gonna do, on a planet that doethn’t depend on computerth. Gotta be thomething, though.” He shrugged, sitting on the edge of one stained mattress, looking vaguely disgusted. “And my hacking did work, but apparently, it didn’t matter. I altered the file. Thoudla thown up jutht fine.”  
  
“Yeah, I think their connection to the Empire’s internet is fucked up. Anyway. I guess we start out where every immigrant does, here. The factory line.” His eyes kept roving over the ceiling. Was that hole from someone’s horn? Was that a roach? Oh gog, this place SUCKED. “Maybe we’ll find something more interesting to do. Didn’t you say you’ve been in contact with a ‘friend’ here, and that’s why we’re in New York to begin with?”  
  
“Thpeak for your fucking self,” Sollux repeated, standing again, pacing the length of the little apartment, noting with disdain that he could hear their neighbors through the walls. Far, far too well. “We’re not gonna be here long, and even if programming ithn’t utheful everywhere, math and probability are. We’ll look for work tomorrow.” he wandered back to the door. “Let’th get thomething to put between uth and thethe things,” He said, kicking a mattress, “And get thomething to eat in the morning.” Karkat nodded and climbed to his feet, relogging the sickle he’d been fiddling with. He didn’t go anywhere without it, a survival habit, and just having it in his hands made him feel a little better. More secure.  
  
“Anywhere we’re going specifically?” Please, he thought to himself, somewhere with food. All they’d had to eat on the ship was cheap-ass meals, hardly recognizable as food, that didn’t even begin to fill them up. And, Sollux had kept stealing portions of his meal.  
  
“I wath jutht planning to go to the grothery thore, but we might ath well drop in on Tavroth. Hell, we might even be able to afford a drink,” He said, pulling a slip of paper with an address from his pocket.


	2. The Wonders of Cherries

Sollux: Visit Crocker’s Corner

Karkat looked around at the multitude of shops and people walking in and out of them. The street practically glowed, and bustled with life, every shop window a gem, music drifting out of more than a few, and the whole place was loud with laughter. The day was just beginning to fade, Earth’s mild sun heading for the horizon, the buildings beginning to cast shadows that darkened the streets. The air, still warm with summer, had an almost festivale buzz to it, and enticing smells flitted through the air, warm and strange. Humans and trolls mingled seamlessly and slipped wordlessly past each other on wide sidewalks, cars crawling through the narrow street. He slowed as a particularly delicious, sugary scent caught his attention, completely unlike anything he’d ever known. The door to one of the smaller stores pushed open, three humans in pinstripes descending to the street.  
“Wow, is that a bakery over there?” Sollux, just as hungry and dazzled as karkat, nodded, sniffing.  
“Thmellth like it. Let’th go in. I’m tharving. We’re fretht off the boat. Maybe we’ll get a little pity.”  
“I thought you said you’d rather eat a culling fork before you’d accept pity from a hum- what the fuck!?” As they walked in, the shorter of the two blondes rammed his shoulder a bit too hard to be accidental. “The fuck is your problem!?” He was met with a deadpan stare and a pair of shades.  
“What’s yours?” The other boy had stopped and turned, and also glared at Karkat. He was taller, and less scrawny than the younger boy, with spiked blonde hair and shades so pointy karkat suspected they could cut with an errant touch. And, apparently he was just as much of a douche.  
“What’s yours, newb? Never been in a crowd before? Watch where you’re going. Oh, and free advice? Stay out of the alleys. Someone’s going to realize you’re stupid, and knife you, dressed like that.” Next to Karkat, Sollux growled angrily, eyes crackling.  
“Watch your mouth. We’re not looking for trouble, just somewhere to eat.” He spoke slowly and deliberately, obviously trying to keep his lisp in check, and mostly succeeding. Karkat growled as well, meeting Dave’s glower.  
“What, got a problem, troll?” The human’s voice showed no emotion, but something about the way he spoke made Karkat want to punch the tiny smirk off his face.  
“Don’t call me stupid!”  
“Guys, come on. Jane’s going to kill me if you start a fight outside her store,” The third human said nervously, giving the brothers a pleading look. The oldest one shrugged.   
“Who’s fighting? Come on, Dave.I’ve got work to do tonight. And don’t you have instruments to play?” he said, heading back down the street like nothing had happened. His younger brother, the ‘dave’ human, nodded and followed, hands tucked in his pocket. The black haired human looked at them apologetically and said,  
“I’m sorry about that,” then ran off to catch up with his friends. Karkat heard Dave order him as they walked away,  
“Don’t apologize to them. they’re trolls.”  
Next to Karkat, Sollux sneered silently, the energy around his eyes fading.  
“Forget the thtupid humanth, Karkat. Let’th jutht finithh and head home.”  
“Yeah. Jeez. What an ass.” He shook his head, and headed into the store. Sollux looked after the humans for another moment, and shook his head in derision.  
“Apologieth. How utheletth.” He followed Karkat in, looking around with wary eyes. Behind the counter stood a slightly plump, cheerful woman, frowning at them for a second, confused, but then breaking into a big smile.  
“Hello, luvs! Welcome to Crocker’s Corner. Fresh off the boat, are you?” She said, rubbing at the glass with a cloth, apparently trying to get some sort of smudge off. Karkat nodded, his eyes on the baked goods in the glass counter. His stomach growled, and he glared at the confections, as if they were the reason he’d done something so embarrassing. The woman chuckled.  
“I can see you’re not famliar with earth cooking. Should I be making recommendations?”  
Sollux nodded, fidgeting a little. She looked them over more closely, obviously thinking.  
“Let me guess. Long history with bees?” He nodded, eyes wandering over the pastries again, just like Karkat. “Okay. We’ve got just the thing for you. And your friend?”  
“Maybe thomething a little thweet. Counteract hith perthonality.” Jane giggled.  
“That is just the cutest little lisp!” Sollux flushed yellow, hotly embarrassed, as Karkat gave him an annoyed glare.  
“Har har, very funny. But yes, despite what my jerk-wad, speech-impared friend has implied, I do like sweets.” Jane raised an eyebrow, and took two pastries out of the case, one covered in soft sugar, the other glazed in honey and so thin it was crisp.  
“unfortunately, I can’t give things away for free, but I can cut the price in half because you two just got off the boat. Come back if you get your feet under you, okay?” Sollux nodded, sniffing, eyes on the delicious pastry as handed over the cash. Karkat licked his lips.  
“That’s very kind.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. “And while we’re here? Can you tell us how, exactly, we’d get here.”   
Jane shot him a much cannier look, smile disappearing for a second.“Well, then. I WILL be seeing more of you two.” She stepped out from behind the counter, and pushed open a door in the back of the shop, formerly hidden behind a wall hanging and leading out into the alley behind her shop. “There’s a door to your left. I assume you already have a contact’s name.” Sollux grinned.“We’re set.”  
Karkat looked on, a little suspiciously, but somewhat apathetically. He didn’t really care where they were going. He didn’t want to see any of his old friends. All he could think about right now was the delicious, soft texture of the sugar-coated bun. He was definitely going to remember this place. Soon as he was on his feet, he was going to come here every day. This was delicious. Swallowing the last bit and licking his fingers, he almost smiled at Jane.  
“Thanks.” He paused, about to finish licking the jelly off one finger, and almost had a heart attack. It was bright red! Had hie bitten himself!? Oh gog, oh fucking sweet troll jegus, he was here for less than a day, made it through immigrations unscathed, and was now going to meet his end in a motherfucking bakery. Sollux completely failed to notice his friend’s panic, preoccupied with his own pastry and savoring an almost-familiar taste.  
“Thith ith amazing!” Jane chuckled.  
“Always good when someone appreciates my work.”  
Karkat shoved his finger in his mouth, hoping no one had seen.  
“Yeah, they’re really good, what was that jelly stuff in it?” He had to act normally. Hopefully it was just a little scratch and it would…. it tasted sweet! Whatever was in the bun, it had been red! Fuck him with a rusty sickle for being that stupid!   
Jane chuckled.“Cherry. They don’t have cherries on Alternia? No, of course not.” She waved a hand airily. “Trolls are always so surprised when the flood here actually tastes good!” She winked at them. “Though, mine IS the best. Nobody bakes like a Crocker!” Karkat nodded, and made a mental note to eat cherries more often. They tasted good, and made a better excuse. He gave Jane the closest thing to a smile he could.  
“If this is the best then I never want to try anything else!” Jane laughed.  
“Then don’t! It’s good for business.” Sollux, apparently bored and ready to get on with it, grabbed him and pulled him along by the collar.  
“Thay goodbye to the nice human. We haven’t got all day.” Karkat rolled his eyes and waved, then followed Sollux.  
“So where exactly are we going, and who are we meeting?”  
“Remember Tavroth?” Sollux asked, heading through the alley, finding a door in the brickwork, and knocking. The door cracked, a cool character standing in the gap.  
“And you are?”  
“Friendth of Tavroth,” Sollux said smoothly, hands in his pockets, managing to look like he had every right to be there, despite being dramatically under-dressed. The man stepped aside.  
“He’s at the bar. But I’m sure you knew that. Mind your manners. The show’s about to start.” As the trolls came down the stairs, a piano began to sound, and Sollux froze for a moment, stunned, before shaking his head. Karkat followed close behind, a little nervous, nodding. He remembered Tavros, Sollux’s old matesprite’s flarping partner.  
“How’d he manage to get here without being culled?” He asked, then paused as the sound washed over him, almost tripping. A piano, a real piano, not just a shitty background track from some earth-themed movie! An actual fucking piano! His heart almost stopped beating as he heard the voice rise to sing with it. Sollux interrupted his train of thought with a shrug, bringing his attention back to what they were actually there for, thought it took effort not to just drift back into the music’s spell. Alternia didn’t have much in the way of the arts, and what they did have wasn’t filled with life like this!  
“Have no idea. But he wath good enough to thay he’d try and get me a job that actually payth.” He tugged on Karkat’s sleeve, weaving through the crowd to the bar, acting as if he was oblivious to their strange, wonderful, and slightly boggling surroundings. “this way, maybe if we’re lucky, they can put you to work too.”

“Better than factories,” Karkat mumbled distractedly.


	3. In The Spider's Lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy Jazzbent? Want to read sooner than 'whenever we feel like posting on AO3'? Look us up at http://jazzbent.tumblr.com  
> And don't worry, folks. Action's coming.

Karkat followed Sollux dumbly, having trouble focusing on what his friend was saying. It was hard, with that music. That wonderful, wonderful music. It just didn’t exist on Alternia, at least nothing like that. There was no life to it. It was all solemn, highblooded shit. THIS was different, filled with passion. The deep throb of the brass, the big voice of the trumpet and the girl’s voice cutting through it all, high and perfect and taunting. He swallowed, eyes locked on the stage. Sollux sighed, pushing him down on a bar stool.  
  
“Jutht keep your mouth thut if you’re going to be utheletth, okay?” THe yellowblood leaned against the bar, smiling slightly. “Hey, Tav!” Whatever he’d been planning to say next was lost as Tavros leaned across the bar and pulled him into a hug.  
  
“Sollux!” Tavros exclaimed, grinning. Sollux just made a strangled, breathless sound, and choked out an eep.  
  
“Can’t breathe!” He wheezed. Tavros blushed, letting him go.  
  
“Sorry, Sollux. I didn’t think you’d actually come! And with Karkat, too!” Karkat pulled hsi attention away from the stage show for a moment, growling a brief,  
  
“Hi,” then going on to elaborate, reluctantly. “No hugs. So. Sollux mentioned something about jobs?” Tavros gave a timid nod.  
  
“Maybe. I mean, I’m not sure. Ummm. Miss Serket talked about needing some dealers. A roulette spinner who wouldn’t lose, she said.”  
  
“Serket!? As in Vriska Serket?!” Tavros nodded and gestured with his head, careful not to knock anything off the bar with his horns.  
  
“SHe’s over there.”  
  
“Why the FUCK is Vriska Serket here!?”  
  
“Who ELSE would own an illegal club?”  
  
“Well,” Karkat interjected gloomily, “It’s official. We’re fucked. Damn. Of course she’d be here. Let’s get out while we can. Before we find out that she snuck her fucking lusus here, and we’re dinner.” Sollux shook his head, gritted his teeth, and spun around on his stool to look at her, deep in conversation with a human in a garishly orange suit, the one they’d met in the street.  
  
“PLEATHE don’t tell me both of thothe attholeth work here.” Tavros shrugged.  
  
“Dirk just hangs around most of the time. He’s some kind of informant, I think, but I’ve never talked to the guy. They say he’s who you go to if you need anything done with computers or tech. And, he does Vriska’s dirty work.” Sollux grinned, interest perked. Computers? Technology? Sounded good to him!  
  
“Reallllly,” Sollux said, grinning and drawing the word out, standing up as he spoke. “Karkat, I think we’d better go thay hello to our old friend.”  
  
“Sometimes I wonder if you’re the world’s way of pushing me further and further towards being the punch line of the universe’s sick jokes,” Karkat growled, getting up, really wishing he was somewhere else. “Honestly, I’d rather work anywhere but with the spiderbitch! She fucked up our lives enough when she was a wriggler with that fucking flarping!”  
  
“Nope,” Sollux said, almost jovially. “Today I’m the atthhole keeping a roof over your head. Now thuth the fuck up. We NEED the work.” That said, managing to look casual, he strolled over to Vriska, a little smirk on his face and hands in his pockets. “Vriska. You’re the last person I expected to see here.” He spoke a little more slowly than usual, just to keep his lisp under control. Vriska pulled herself from her conversation, looking up at him with something like annoyance.  
  
“Sollux,” She said flatly, humorlessly.  
  
“Should I show the fresh meat to the curb?” Dirk asked, looking easily as annoyed as Vriska, possibly more so. You had to be REALLY new, to interrupt a meeting like this. Karkat gave him a glare in return, listening closely for Vriska’s reaction, already wondering if he could find anywhere half decent to work. He wasn’t going to take Spiderbitch’s money, no matter how much she paid! Vriska gave Dirk a slight smile and shook her head.  
  
“Thanks, but I don’t need help dealing with the little nerd here. So what brings you to a primitive little planet like this one, Sollux?”  
  
“Didn’t feel like being used to power a ship. You know how it goes.” She laughed.  
  
“Not really. Lucky me,” She looked him up and down again, well aware that he was appraising her the same way. Let him look. She was well worth looking at. She knew age had rounded her out nicely, and she had no qualms about showing her body off a little. “Tavros said I’d give you work, didn’t he?”  
  
“Naturally, he also didn’t mention it was you.” She chuckled.  
  
“We’ll just have to see if you’re worth paying, then.” 

By the time either of them looked up again, Karkat was long gone. He’d lost interest in the hostile little conversation, going off to sit and listen to the music, though still close enough to keep an ear open to the conversation. He stared at the stage, enraptured. Sure, the human asshole from earlier was on the trumpet, filling the room with its corny wails. But the singer, oh, she MORE than made up for it! SHe was amazing. The way she moved, the roll of her voice! Screw troll Will SMith! Screw all the actors he’d ever had a crush on! She, she was the best stage performer he’d ever seen! She was in a league of her own! He leaned forward, hands on his chin as the girl on stage extended one hand, long nails glittering pink and blonde hair shining under the stage lights, sequins on her dress flashing as she shimmied her hips. 

When Sollux thought to look for Karkat again, several songs had passed, and the band was on its last song. Sollux slid into the chair next to him, wearing a grin that showed all his teeth.  
  
“Life’s gonna be good here,” He said softly, watching the stage, obviously missing the magic Karkat found there.  
  
“Yeah?” Karkat asked, finally tearing his eyes off the stage, though reluctantly. “What kind of a job did Spiderbitch throw at you?” His foot which had been tapping in time with the music, stopped as he lost the feeling that had swallowed him.  
  
“Gambling, of courthe,” Sollux answered with a grin, and held up a smallish stack of bills, fanning through them casually with his thumb. “The wath thupid enough to give me a tetht game of poker.” Karkat just stared at the bundle of cash.  
  
“Did you run the numbers or use psionics?” He had the nagging feeling this was going to become a habit, and if there was one thing movies set on earth had taught him about gambling, it was that it could bring any troll down. So far, movies had yet to lie to him.  
  
“Pleathe. Ath if I NEED psionicth for thomething thith thimple.” He was grinning stupidly, confidence written all over his face. “I think we thould celebrate. Take the chance to go thopping. It’th not like I don’t have more coming!” Karkat rolled his eyes. This was probably the oncoming edge of a manic mood, but he wasn’t about to turn down the chance to improve the shithole apartment they were living in.  
  
“Yeah, we should.” He sighed, glancing back to the stage. He didn’t want to go yet. The song hadn’t finished yet. “And let me guess. Anything you’re going to get for me, you’re going to expect me to pay back with interest, soon as I’m working too.” Sollux answered with a shrug.  
  
“Ordinarily, I’d thay yeth, but I”m feeling generouth! Jutht don’t go overboard. Maybe you’ll get a better job if you look the part.” He reclined into his seat, still wearing that same shit-eating grin. “But I can tell, either way, you’ll be spending a lot of time down here.” Karkat glared at him. It was a habit he’d managed to pick up in place of blushing. With blood his color, it was simply safer. Still, he wished he could just wipe that cocky expression off Sollux’s face. The asshole was always so irrationally sure of himself.  
“What’s wrong with liking music? Plus, it’s certainly better than that shitty apartment.”  
  
“Plus, you’re working for thpiderbitch now.”  
  
“Has the trip here turned your thinkpan to grubsauce?! There is no fucking way I would ever even consider working for one Miss-I’ll-Hypnotize-You-And-Manipulate-You Vriska Serket!” Sollux raised an eyebrow skeptically, still wearing that smirk Karkat hated.  
  
“You’re thaying you’d MIND getting paid to thee thith thow every night?” He jerked his head at the stage. “C’mon, Kar. Loothen up.” Karkat gave a twitch, torn between heaven and hell.  
  
“Any clue what she’d have me doing?”

“Not a fucking one. I wathn’t too worried about it. It’th YOUR job. Can’t hurt to athk.” Karkat began debating internally. Sure, he’d love to be here every night, watching HER, but no, he would not, could not, work for Spiderbitch! In honesty, he’d been hoping to avoid seeing his old internet friends here, with the exception of Sollux. He wanted a fresh start, not the same drama in a different setting. As he thought, Sollux simply sauntered off, leaving Karkat to his thoughts.


	4. Liqour Lights The Way

Karkat glanced at a table where Vriska was sitting. He didn’t give a damn what Spiderbitch was up to, but the girl sitting with her, the singer, now SHE interested him. Occasionally, she’d glance over and give him a wink that made him want to flush every time.  
  
“Hey, Tavros. Does that band play here often?”  
  
“Yeah. They’re here most nights. They’re a lot better than The Spades,” He informed Karkat, glancing over at the band that had replaced the last one. Karkat nodded, and wince. Even he could tell these ‘Spades’ were butchering the Jazz they were playing.  
  
“So does she flirt like that a lot?”  
  
“Flirting? She’s not even past tipsy yet! She’s just friendly.” Karkat let out a little ‘oh’ of understanding, sipping his free water with a sigh. Naturally. 

A few moments later, Karkat heard someone slide onto the stool next to him. He looked from the corner of his eye, attempting to play it cool, and practically choked on his glass of water. It was her! The girl from the band! And she was talking to Sollux, Sollux of all people! He sat up straight, about to turn and try and talk to her, when the gog-damned pianist, the nerdy-looking one with the thick glasses and the troll-thick black hair, plopped down on his other side. He froze, looking him over, a little startled.  
  
“Hey Tav!”  
  
“Hey, John!” Tavros replied with a smile. John nodded a sort of acceptance, and whirled on Karkat.  
  
“Hi! You’re Karkles, right? Vriska mentioned you!” Karkat gave him a glare that suggested he wanted to do nothing so much as lean forward and rip John’s face off, fighting to keep his temper under control. With what he considered great restraint, he answered,  
  
“It’s KarKAT, you bulge-licking shitstain!” John chuckled like he got this sort of reaction all the time. Though, to be fair, if he dealt with sane people at all, he probably did.  
  
“Oh, sorry! I’m John! Are you new here?”  
  
“No fucking duh! I just got here today. Now if I’ve snuffed your idiotic, barkbeast-like curiosity, would you kindly FUCK OFF?” John laughed at the ‘joke’.  
  
“Hey, do you want a beer? I should apologize for Dave trying to pick a fight with you outside my aunt’s shop.” Karkat’s eyes shot up, skepticism and surprise warring. Before Karkat could answer about the beers, Tavros set two down on the counter, condensation dripping down the brown glass and over two blue-and-black labels, featuring spiders sitting in their webs, musical notes stuck and squirming in its thread.  
  
“Lighten up and enjoy yourself, Karkat. This isn’t Alternia. It’s called being friendly.” Then, the crippled troll leaned a little farther forward, departing one more nugget of information. “And stop looking at him like that. He’s not hitting on you. He’s one of those weird heterosexual things.”  
  
v “I guessed,” Karkat hissed back. “So what the FUCK is he doing?” Tavros just shrugged and retreated behind the bar again. Obviously, he had better things to do than puzzle through the human’s psuedo-romantic bullshit. Karkat resisted the urge to shudder. He hated people like John! His attention drifted. John was still jabbering, something about ‘holding his liqueur’, from what Karkat couldn’t manage to ignore. His eyes were following Roxy again. She’d concluded whatever business she had with Sollux, and was off again, gorgeous hips swaying as she walked away from him. He resisted the urge to whimper, and then, the much more INTENSE urge to make this John human pay for spoiling his chance at talking with her. 

 

Sulking, Karkat sipped the steaming beer in front of him, then blinked, surprised. It wasn’t that bad, actually. After some of the things he’d heard about alcohol, he’d expected it to be awful. It was sweet, and slightly fruity, but mostly, it was dark and bitter. He paused for a second, savoring it, smiling approvingly as it settled into a sweet, rich aftertaste, leaving him feeling slightly warm inside. Next to him, JOhn was laughing with Tavros, joking about falling offstage, and somebody named Dave. The asshole who’d pushed him earlier? Yes, that was right. He tuned back in, looking at John through lidded eyes as he continued his story.  
  
“…. Roxy do that before. She had one too many before practice, and tripped on the old cello we’ve got in the practice room. We thought she was dying, because she just started laughing like a hyena, so hard we thought she was sobbing at first!” An idea began to ferment at the back of his head. Especially if a cello was what he thought it was. He glanced over at Sollux, who was sipping whiskey, and was suddenly curious. Sollux gave him an amused little twitch of the lips, but didn’t stop his sipping.  
  
“HOW do you have an alcohol tolerance?” Sollux shrugged before answering Karkat.  
  
“Mind honey’th in the thame vein.” Karkat shivered.  
  
“I am SO glad animals aren’t allowed through customs at all,” he muttered, before taking another sip. He’d decided he liked this stuff. The taste was interesting and complicated, and the more he drank, the better it made him feel, just that little warmth prickling in his stomach. It reminded him a little of sopor slime. Tavros had obviously caught the look, chuckling as he watched Karkat’s slight smile.  
  
“Getting buzzed already, Karkat? Wow.” Karkat growled, though it was a bit softer than usual. Not seriously angry, just vaguely annoyed.  
  
“I, unlike my friends, did NOT consume chemicals that make me either go hivebent insane or a mindless pile of mush. So, YES, Tavros, I AM getting buzzed, for the simple reason my body is not used to mind altering chemicals.”  
  
“I didn’t mean- it took three beers and a shot of whiskey to get me drunk the first time, and I didn’t either!” Karkat’s blood suddenly ran cold. He had the same blood color as a human, and they were all light-weights, compared to trolls, who had a naturally high alcohol tolerance. This was just one more way he could be found out, possibly.that was ridiculous. He thught to himself. It was just that he was short and was that low of blood. Everyone knew that low blood meant a low tolerance. And, well, Tavros was a freaking tank. Right. That had to be it. He swallowed, and let out a sigh of relief as he felt the conversation flow on around him. Sollux, bored, glanced over at John.  
“Tho how do motht people find thith plathe, anyway?”  
  
“Normally through a friend, or someone who works here gives them an invitation. Dave dragged me in here so I could play piano, and he knew I needed a job.” He grinned dorkily. “I’m kinda glad he did. This is a cool place. ‘The Spider’s Lair’ and everyone calling themselves spiders!” He took a swig of his beer, and held out his lapel so they could see something. “And then there’s the neat little pins.” True to word, he wore a little enamaled pin, a surprisingly realistic silouette of a spider, outlined in silver, the inner space the color of Vriska’s blood. He frowned. The ones on the Strider’s suits had been black. Oh well. Karkat shook his head, taking another drink. It didn’t really matter. Sollux nodded, rattling the ice in his glass.  
  
“Tho how long did it take you to play the, what ith it, the piano?” John shrugged, admitting,  
  
“I don’t really know. My dad started teaching me as soon as I could walk. It was kinda our bonding thing.” He took another drink of his beer, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he did. “Why? Do you wanna learn how to play? I’d be happy to give you a lesson or two.” Karkat’s ears perked up again, his earlier idea circling through his mind again. Sure, the piano was less than ideal, and it would mean tolerating this derp, but it would get him closer to that amazing woman, and making music like that would be its own reward! Sollux shook his head.  
  
“I’m about as musical as your average recuperacoon, but Karkat’s pretty obsessed with the stuff. For a troll.” Karkat gave him a glare, suddenly freezing as John’s bubbly personality was once again sicced on him.  
  
“Really!? I know there’s a lot of trolls who really like music and jazz, because from what I hear, trollian music is just slam poetry and screechy insturmentals, but I’ve never met any who’re actually interested in playing!”  
  
“Will you SHUT UP? Yes, I like music, but you don’t have to fly off the fucking handle about it!”  
  
Sollux snickered, motioning for Tavros to get Karkat another beer. Tavros grinned and nodded, another dripping beer in front of Karkat before the first one was even finished. As he did, one of the humans, the one in the attrotious orange suit, Dave’s brother, if Karkat was right, sauntered up to the bar, leaning on the wood casually. Tavros was focused on him instantly, and the human leaned over, whispering something into his ear, before sliding back off. Karkat shuddered. That guy gave him the creeps. So SMUG. Tavros glanced at John.  
  
“Haven’t you got another set now, John? The Spades are off-stage.” John blinked, suddenly sitting straight upright.  
  
“Oh shit! You’re right, thanks, Tav!” He was off like a shot, half-empty beer forgotten as he pushed his way through the crowd towards the stage. Sollux pivoted on his stool, watching him go, and leaned over, asking Tavros without looking at him,  
  
“What was THAT about?”  
  
“Strider’s plotting something. Just like always.”  
  
“Fuckass,” Karkat commented, eyeing the second beer and deciding against it. Being drunk his very first day on a strange planet seemed like a good way to die in a hurry.  
“That MAY be true, but no one’s stupid enough to say that to his face. The Striders are DANGEROUS.”  
  
“How dangerous can two humans be?”  
  
“Do yourself a favor and never find out.”  
  
“Come on, Tavros! The guy’s obviously a tool! Hell, I bet Sollux could take him, WITHOUT his psionics!” Karkat turned as he spoke, giving the blonde a glare over his shoulder. “We almost got into a fight with him just before we got here.” Tavros shook his head, almost knocking over a shelf of bathtub gin in the process.  
  
“Don’t. There’s a REASON Vriska uses them for her dirty work. I’ve never seen anyone move faster.”  
  
Karkat gave him a quizzical look, then glanced back at the Strider. There was something just a bit off about how he moved, like he was focusing on keeping a normal speed. He shivered, turning back to his drink. Sollux could help him stagger home.  
  
“So what about the rest of Strider’s little band?”  
  
“Roxy and Dave are the heart of it, and in the dirty work, too. Most of the time, John’s up there too, but as far as I know, he’s as innocent as a lamb. They’re the main sound. The rest come and go. They keep griping about getting a good cello player.” Karkat nodded, glancing up at the stage again. He definitely was going to be coming here a LOT. Even if it was just to hear this band play. 

 

——————Meanwhile———————

 

As Roxy walked to the stage, Dirk leaned over and whispered to his brother, eyes on the bar.  
  
“Hey bro. If you’re gonna make a move on John, you’d better do it fast.”  
  
“We both know I’d be wasting my time. Remember how bad he flipped the last time a guy hit on him?” Dave said with a hint of sadness. He was WAY too cool for heavy sighs. Dirk shrugged, countering breezily.  
  
“In denial. My gaydar goes crazy every time Egderp walks into a room. He’s WAY too handsy to be straight. You’re losing your opportunity.”  
  
“Well, the only way to get him to admit it will be when he’s stone cold drunk, and we have another set to play, so this isn’t the time.”  
  
“You’re avoiding the issue. Do it after your set. Sit a little closer than normal. Get a little drunk yourself. C’mon, bro.” Dave rolled his eyes, an expression hidden by his shades. Dirk could be so goddamned pushy!  
  
“And if this ends with me being drug to a midnight showing of “My Fair Lady?” Vriska, who’d been watching the conversation with clear amusement in her blue eyes, cut in.  
  
“You almost sound scared, Dave!”  
  
“Yeah, bro. Don’t tell me you’re afraid he’ll blow you off.” A grin that sincerely worried Dave crossed Dirk’s face. “Maybe what you need is an example to follow.” Oh, fuck. Dirk WOULD do that, and knowing his brother, it would WORK. He’d do it just to irk Dave. He gave Dirk a look that could kill and declared,  
  
“Have Tavros mix up one of those fruity fucking drinks John likes so much. With Vodka instead of club soda.” Dirk had just started some sick fires, and you are NOT going to back down from this. Dirk just kept grinnign.  
  
“Anything to help a bro out. Now get out there. Don’t you have a tin goose to play?”  
  
“It’s a trumpet, though I’m pretty sure you would have better luck playing a brass goose. You’ve got the rythem of a deaf troll.” Mentally, Dave congratulated himself. Dirk was going to need cold water fro that burn. He swaggered off, towards the stage, enjoying the way the crowd simply parted for him.


End file.
